Hi Henry,
It's not clear from you post the method that you are using to configure the memory. Are you using a GEL? I would recommend that you start with the GEL file delivered with MCSDK, modify it with the values you calculated for you board and see if you can get the memory to initialize. Note that you should be able to see the values written using a memory window after the configuration is complete. It's best not to keep the memory window open while you are running the configuration. The constant refreshing of the window may distort some of the timing needed.
Regards, Bill